Sick Sleep

My kids have been sick all week. 

Actually, my kids have been sick on basically an endless rotation since March when the school mask mandates were lifted. Their little immune systems that spent 2 years basically isolated from ALL viruses now have a lot of catching up to do.

So when you’re dealing with sick kids for months seemingly on end, you’re also dealing with sick sleep.

Sick sleep is not the same as healthy sleep, and the way I handle their sleep needs and wake ups is not the same when they’re sick. 

Let them sleep more.

First, I am a pretty firm believer in nap sleep impacting night sleep and night sleep impacting nap sleep and wake up time impacting all of it and bedtime remaining as consistent as possible as often as possible. However, this honestly goes completely out the window when they’re sick.

Think about yourself for a second. What are your sleep habits like when you’re healthy vs sick? I am NOT a napper. However, I had a fever a few months ago and felt awful, so I stayed in bed all day in and out of sleep. I napped a lot, and my fever broke mid afternoon, but I still slept just fine that night.

Our bodies need more sleep when we’re sick. Sleep is healing. If your kids seem like they need more sleep when they’re sick, that’s because they do and letting them get that sleep is not going to mess up your routine. In fact, it will probably help them heal and help you get back to your routine more quickly.

In addition to just generally needing more sleep when sick, we also aren’t always getting the best sleep when sick right? Yes, maybe your kid is desperate to go to bed at 5 pm, but are they asleep all those night time hours or are they waking up every few hours when their Tylenol wears off? Or maybe their sleep is inundated with coughing and congestion. Maybe they even throw up. It’s easy to get lots of sleep when sick, but it’s pretty hard to get consolidated sleep when your body is so uncomfortable.

So, let them take longer naps. Let them take more naps. Let them sleep later in the morning or go to bed earlier at night. Sleep is healing.

But make sure they stay hydrated.

The only exception to this is making sure your kids stay hydrated. This is incredibly important every day, but even more so when sick. If you have a little one taking multiple naps, this may mean waking them up to feed them and then putting them right back to sleep. With older kids who may have little or no appetite when sick, make sure to at least offer them plenty of water. This doesn’t have to change the fact that you are letting them get more sleep, and you don’t have to stick to your regular feeding schedule, you just want to try your best to get something in them.

When Landen was a baby and was sick for the first time, he really didn’t want to eat so I was nervous about hydration. His doctor said that as long as he’s getting at least half of the formula he usually gets he’s okay. This has been my general rule of thumb with all of my babies, but of course talk to your own doctor about what your baby needs.

So, other than hydration, I always say when sick, sleep schedule goes out the window.

But try to keep the routine.

But something I never really discuss when sick is sleep routine, because it’s something that’s so ingrained in my house that I don’t even think about it. However, I’ve come to realize more and more that this is an important part of the puzzle and critical in getting back to where you were when the illness is over.

I would actually keep the routine the same as much as possible when sick. Let me explain.

So often friends, clients, internet friends, anyone, reach out to me with the same story. I need help. My kid was an excellent independent sleeper and then got sick and it all went down the drain. Now they’ll only sleep in my bed.

Sound familiar?

Friends, you do not have to let your kid in your bed because they’re sick. If you want to, that is totally fine, just know that if you want them out after the sickness ends you might have some retraining to do. But if your kid is sick and they need you, my biggest piece of advice is go to them.

Keeping them in their space will ensure that you don’t run into this problem. Maybe that means you sleep in their bed while they’re sick. Maybe they sleep in a crib or toddler bed and you can’t fit, so you sleep on their floor. I’ve heard really good things about nuggets in this situation if you have one of those in your house, or anything comfortable that you can put down for better sleep.

I know what you’re thinking. But the floor? Really? How uncomfortable. I definitely won’t get any sleep. But be honest. When your kids are sick do you get sleep anyway? I don’t. They wake up so often and need so much that it’s really unlikely that bringing them into my bed will change anything. However, maybe going into THEIR bed can save me the energy of having to get up over and over again to tend to their needs while also ensuring that I don’t introduce a habit that I don’t want (them in my bed). 

This is just a TIP that you CAN use if you want to. To be honest, I’ve actually never slept in their beds even when sick. Eric has slept with Joey once or twice, but in the end for me everyone always sleeps better separately. And sleeping in their room is actually a habit that you may have to break later on too if you don’t want to continue, but it’ll be easier to break than bringing them to you. 

This is really just an option that may help you bridge that gap between wanting to be there for your kids when they’re sick and not wanting to start a habit of having them in your bed. It allows you to keep things a little more consistent so that when the sickness is over it’s easier to get right back on track. It also allows you to be close to them for YOUR comfort, because I know I lose sleep just knowing a kid has a high fever or might throw up in bed.

And if you’re like, but Arden, I like having them in my bed when they’re sick. Then I’d say, “OK”. That’s it. Do it. Do what you want, do what you need, do what’s best for YOU and YOUR CHILD, not ME and MY CHILD, because that’s what’s going to work for your family. 

Getting rid of a habit

Ok so what if you’ve already introduced the habit but you want to get rid of it. The most important thing is to decide that you aren’t going to allow it, and stick to it consistently every night. Every time you give in to a habit you don’t want, it will get harder to break. If the illness ends and you want to immediately eliminate any habits you introduced that aren’t working for you, stop right away and don’t look back.

And as always, reach out to me for support in changing any habits or behaviors that aren’t working for your family.